Stop Time

Hey, ho, can't believe it's already November! haha! In a couple of weeks, it'll be 2014 already...2013 has been a very blessed year for me...and there's still a little under 60 days left, can't imagine what's going to happen.

Anyway, decided to do quick updates since it's been so long since I posted.

Enjoying my job! Still adjusting to  the night shift, but I'm learning day by day. I'm happy to meet such diverse people at work! But yeah, I have to start watching what I eat already! haha.

Church duty is as busy as ever. What's new, right? Been doing this for the past 11 years, but still, NO COMPLAINTS. :)

Been missing out a lot on friends! huhuhu. Weekends seem to pass by so fast! I really need to get out with friends already! hahaha

AND!!! I DEFIED GRAVITY! haha. Told my parents about my special guy already...and I am but surprised with their reactions...especially of papa's. haha. Thank You for making everything fall into place! :)

Oh, and yes, I'm happier, blessed, improving, grateful, and learning each and every day. Thank You. :)

I wish I could just stop time and savor these days. :)

Hello, October

September went by so fast! haha

Just quick updates:

• I started my work last 23rd of September. My work shift is at 9pm-6am. And yes, my body clock and sense of time is ruined already! haha. But I think I'll be enjoying this job.:)  
• October will be a VERY busy month! But I am not complaining. I will do everything for You. And I know that I'll be able to do all these things because You are with me. :) 
• I've decided to come clean to my parents regarding my relationship with this guy. I want to keep and earn their trust so I want to tell them how happy I am having him around. I just have to do it at the perfect timing. Besides, I am not doing ANYTHING wrong, so why bother at all, right? I may be worrying how they would react to it since we belong to the same groups in church If they get mad, I'll just let things be. I just hope that they wouldn't stop me from serving Him and doubt my intentions in doing church service. I am really hoping that they'll be able to understand me fully, see things the way I do, and most of all, trust me. I hope they'll be able to see how he makes me happy and how good of an influence he is to me. I also hope that they'll give him a chance and get to know him as well. I wouldn't want to force them to liking him in the same way that I love him, but I really do hope they'll give him a chance.   

October, let's be friends, please? Please, please, please be good to me! :)

From a Giddy Kid to You. :)

Four years ago, maybe, the universe said , “Hold on, it isn’t “your” time yet.”   

We are the irony of ironies.

A girl who clams up at the mere idea of socializing and a boy who is thrilled to expand his social circle. The most uncoordinated artist and most versatile musician. The silent one and the jolly one. The worrier and the comforter. The doubter and the “assure-r”. 

Unexpected.

A revelation.  A realization.  A risk taken.

Ours is but unconventional.

Imperfectly perfect. Unbelievably believable. 

The jitters, butterflies, “wanting-to-look-perfect” attitude, excitement, awkwardness, and confusion…I’m honestly happy that you’re all giving me these. And the funny thing is, it’s as if 2,160 hours hasn’t passed. J  

To my best bud, spiritual pillar, kuya-and-papa-image-all-in-one, sweetest bully, travel pillow, clown, fellow chocolate-addict, best listener, cheesy “surprise-r”, unexpected birthday-prayer answer, intellectual-and-nerdy-talk partner, favorite pianist, idol singer, mr.torpe, mr.antukin, personal motivator and encourager, forever crush, my-greatest-and-favorite-risk-taken-up-to-date, and mr. universe, this tongue-tied, stuttering, and  giddy kid wants to tell you something.

This giddy kid just wants to tell you how happy she is.

This giddy kid just wants to thank you for all the understanding, patience, and staying, despite of and in spite of.

This giddy kid thanks you for every, and all the littlest things, and each and everyday.

But most of all, this giddy kid wants you to know that she is but blessed, happier, inspired, contented, and grateful to Him for bringing you into her life. She wishes that you’d stay for more and more hundreds of days, please? J

And now, we’re on a new chapter.  

Change is but inevitable. And I have to tell you this honestly, I’m having my doubts on myself. But with your every word, I am assured. With your every word, I know we can get through this. I’ll hold on to that one phrase that you always tell me. We’ll make this work, right? J

One day at a time and Always. <3

And maybe, right now, the universe is telling us…now is “our” right time.       

Awesome, Awesome August

Hey, hello September!

And before I start writing down my Christmas wishlist (or whatever Christmas-y cliche post I may think of), I would just like to say that August was one heck of a ride! =D

I started the month belonging to a new group. I became (again) part of the Liturgical committee. New challenge, new people to work with, new view on things. I honestly feel at ease belonging to this group. I don't know why but I do love doing intellectual stuff. HAHA. Nerdy me! =)))

Then, I was able to meet with the wonderful people I met in Korea. They held a medical mission in Cavite and I was thrilled to see everyone once again! It was such a good feeling and I can't wait for next year! (And yey because my Korean's still intact. HAHA)

I also started opening up to my parents...well, my mom in particular. Well, in time, I will open up to papa as well. I'll just take things one step at a time and of course, praying as well. =)

Yey! I got a job already. But I am yet to start. Hopefully, and if the universe agrees, I'll be able to start by the third week of September. And yes, I am so looking forward to this job!

I also learned to balance everything that's happening in my life right now...church responsibilities, friends, family, and my lovelife. (HAHA!) Last month, I was able to redirect my life, priorities, and most especially my faith. =)


August, thank you for being so awesome!
Three months left for 2013. 2013 has been nothing but awesome! Can't wait for more blessings from You! Thank You, thank You, thank You! :)

Truly, Madly, Deeply…Forever and Always

This is my take and personal reflection on the Local World Youth Day (LWYD) celebration held last July 27-28,2013 at the Don Bosco Technical Institute-Makati. I’m making this note public in response to Pope Francis’ challenge to use social media as a form of new evangelization. And hopefully, I’ll be able to inspire other youth as well to be of service to Him.

It was such a humbling experience to have become one of the delegates of the National Shrine of Our Mother of Perpetual Help at the the LWYD. As a twenty-two year old, I could say that of all the “first time”, this is the one of the most “worth-it”, if not the best, experience.

I have been a volunteer at the National Shrine of Our Mother of Perpetual Help, Baclaran for twelve years. I started at the age of ten by joining the Our Mother of Perpetual Help Altar Servers (OMPHAS). And soon after, I also became part of the Redemptorist Commission on Youth (RCOY). And being part of this commission has opened a lot of doors of opportunity for me like this LWYD celebration.    

“The Lord tells us 3 things. Go, Don't be afraid, and Serve”. 

This was the three important ideas about mission that Pope Francis himself stated at the World Youth Day 2013 (WYD) celebration at Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

1. Go!

“Go! Faith should be shared and passed on. It should not be locked. Sharing the experience of faith is a command by the church. It is a command that not came from the desire of power but from the force of Love.Jesus gave his life in order to save us. Jesus does not treat us as slaves but as free men, He not only sends us but accompanies us in our mission of love.”

When we first entered the venue, I honestly didn’t believe what I was seeing. For the lack of better terms, I’d like to say that that venue was “overflowing” with youth. This being my first time, I didn’t expect the attendees to be THAT much. Who would’ve thought that despite the changing times, despite the different forms of distractions in the form of the different advancement and development in technology, there were still a lot of young people willing to sacrifice their weekend to attend this type of event. There may be some that were “just required”, or “just curious”, or “I-want-to-spend-weekend-with-my-friends”when they signed up for this. But I believe that somewhere in a little space in their hearts, they signed up for this because they wanted to know more about Him, that they wanted to renew their zeal for service towards Him.

2. Do not be afraid!

“Do not be afraid. For God is with us. When we go to proclaim Christ, it is He himself who goes before us and guides us. When he sends his disciples on mission, he promises to be with us always. Jesus will never leave you alone. Jesus also said, all of you, we are sent together. Be aware of the companionship of the whole church and the whole saints. Jesus did not call the apostles to leave in isolation, he called them to build communities.”

One of the activity that surprisingly left a mark in me was the game during the youth festival. We had no choice of which festival to attend. Honestly, if I had the choice to, I would have chosen the taize or acoustic/worship activity. I was much, much more comfortable with activities that only involved me and Him. But then I had to attend the activity titled “All For You, All For Us”. The activity was totally of out of my comfort zone. The activity required of us to relate to and talk with people that we just have met. It was hard for me because I was the type of person that hardly talks to another unless I know or have spent some time with him already. But as the activity progressed, it made me realize things. This was another wake-up call from Him to me. He was telling me that He is thankful of what I have been doing for the past years. He was thankful that I was sharing what I know about Him and faith with the people around me. But sometimes, I need to get out of my comfort zone. I have to expand my horizons through meeting other new people,other youth, who share the same enthusiasm of being of service to Him.

Another activity that struck me was the vigil for the Blessed Sacrament. I honestly thought that this was going to be an ordinary vigil for me. I have been attending vigils for as long as I could remember, year after year, one liturgical season to another. But then this time was different. The short sermon reminded me of desiring to have peace within oneself. During the silent reflection, I felt tears slowly trickling down my cheeks. Maybe this was because it was the first time that I completely told Him about everything. It was the first time that I confided in him all the happy things, the most frustrating things, my doubts and reluctances, my worries and regrets that I have been holding on for as long as I could remember. It was one of those very few times that tears felt good. And that feeling left in my mind the idea that I should not be afraid of talking to Him. I should not be afraid of confiding things that I can’t share to anybody else but Him. And most importantly, I should not be afraid of doing everything and anything for Him,not minding how deviant or how “weird” it may seem for other people.      

3. Serve!

“SERVE. Sing to the Lord a new song, what is this song? It is the song of your life. It is allowing your life to be a life of Jesus. and the life of Jesus is a life of service. St. Paul made himself a slave of all in order to serve Jesus. It is overcoming our selfishness, it is by bending down and serving others like Jesus said. Go, Do not be afraid and serve. If you follow these three ideas, you will experience that the one who evangelizes is evangelized. The one who gives word, receives the word.”

Saturday left me in awe and speechless. And I never thought that Sunday had more in store for me. On Sunday, we watched the live streaming of the Pope’s message. But the best part for me was the closing mass presided by His Eminence Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle, Archbishop of Manila. It was not the first time that I attended a mass presided by him, but he just never fails to find the correct words to make me realize things.

“Prayer is a relationship with God that changes the desires of the human heart to the desires of God”. 

This was one of the most striking line of his homily for me. Being a volunteer of the National Shrine, I have been reared to a life of prayer. I can confidently utter the basic prayers as well as the rosary and not stutter nor miss a single word. But then as a famous saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. Honestly speaking, I sometimes say these prayers smoothly without truly reflecting on them. Also, I sometimes forget that praying should be two-way. Sometimes I speak and speak without listening to, or ignoring what He wants to tell me. I know He meant for me to hear this line. It was a little tap on the back for me. It was His way of making me realize that I should not only speak but I should learn to listen. I should not listen only to the desires of my heart, but I should listen to His desires as well. And I know deep in my heart, He wants me to continue to serve Him. He wants me to continue living my life for Him. He wants me to continue to guide the younger ones to a life directed to Him.

 “Salamat sa (panahon ng) pagkabata na nahumaling sa Diyos.” 

Papa God, thank You for this opportunity to experience LWYD. If it is Your will, I would gladly accept the opportunity to attend the international WYD in 2016. But even now, I am but thankful to You. Thank You for never failing to make me fall in love with You each and every single day. Thank You for making me fall in love with You more than ever. Thank You that despite my young age, You made me crazy about You. I am but thankful that I have been hopelessly inlove with You for the past 12 years. And I know that I will forever be hopelessly, madly, truly, crazy in love with You.

          

And with these reflections that the LWYD celebration left not only in mind, but also in my heart, I am but grateful. I am blessed beyond words. I am humbled. I am loved. I am renewed. I am strong. I am inspired. I am at peace. But most of all, I am His…forever and always.

Hello Again

I'm starting this new blog as a part of a new chapter of my life. But I won't be deleting the previous one, it's kind of amusing to back read once in a while anyway. So how has my life been?

So...I've gotten my degree already. Yay! Good job! As of now, I'm currently unemployed. Not so yay. :(  But I still am trusting Him. I know He has plans for me...plans that are way greater than I imagine them to be. I still believe in His perfect time.I know He's still searching for my perfect job match. 

And what keeps me going on despite these trying times?  I have my friends around...TRUE friends, if I could stress that out. These are my friends from church. No offense to my other true friends, but they are from whom I get much of my strength from. I look forward to every weekend/Sunday that I get to spend with them. It's like a sweet escape. It's a day when I can feel truly loved, cared for,and supported. 

Don't get me wrong, I know my family is and will always be there for me. It's just that sometimes, there are definitely some things that I can't express myself well with my family. At home, especially on weekdays, I feel so restless. And even if my parents don't tell me, I know they're worried about me. I know that they're worried that I haven't had a job yet. I know that they've been having "tampo" just because I seem to let my life revolve around church and home only. But someday, I hope they understand that church is the only place where I renew my strength for each new week. I hope I can make them realize that. And I hope they'll be able to understand it. I just hope that He shall make them understand that I am doing my best. 

And of course, there's this guy. He has been a very good friend of mine for four years. He's seen me through my ups and down, from one happy crush to another, and through heartbreaks, disappointments,achievement, and success. He continuously inspires me to do well. He encourages me whenever I feel down. He never fails to make me smile by the stories and random things that he tells me about. He never fails to find ways to connect with him mentally. He may not be always be with me physically but he never makes me feel that I am alone. He's someone I can be totally comfortable with. With him, silence isn't awkward at all. With him, everything just seems to fall in its place. And each and everyday, he never fails to make me feel loved and convinces me that this one's a risk worth taken.  Most especially, he never fails to bring me closer to Him and remind me of His unconditional love. And honestly, for the first time ever, he's the guy I want my parents to meet. He's the first guy that I am proud to show off to the world despite of and in spite of. And to Him and him, I am thankful beyond words. 

So heart check: faith-I am working on it day by day. I would lie if I wrote here that my faith is as solid as it should be, so I could just say I'm working on it.; family-I am praying each and everyday that everything will be fine in His perfect time; friends- I do not have enough words to thank them for being my source of strength and my pillar during these trying times; love- unexpected but grateful. I know You gave him for a reason. I know You'll make everything fall into place. I trust in Your perfect time...we trust in Your perfect time. One day at a time.